Marketing = Creatives

Creative = Emotion

Me = Apathetic

I’m no math whiz, but I can put 2 and 2 together.

2. I’m what can best be describe as “a dude”. I am vulgar, perverted, fun loving, BEER loving, mildly social, thick skinned and quite blunt. When I attempt be be politically correct it usually comes across as insincere.

2. [Most] creative people (graphic designers, copywriters, etc.) “exhibit heightened emotional sensitivity”. – Don’t get your panties in a wad, creatives… that “” part came from a list I found on the interwebs at http://thesecondprinciple.com/creativity/creativetraits.

* Before I put 2 and 2 together, let me say that I work with 6 creatives and there is only ONE for whom heightened emotional sensitivity is an issue. It is to this person I am referring.

Now for the math:

2 + 2 =

Clearly I bootlegged this photo from Google images because it was AWESOME, just like me, but you get the point. Hopefully this yogi blog won’t serve me with a cease and desist. I assigned this designer a project titled, “Emergency Response Infographic”. What I got looked a lot like this:

 NOT like my example

My conversation to address this issue resulted in such a outlandish, childish response that I could hardly believe I was standing in a professional office, it felt more like a gym daycare. Seriously, the only thing missing from the tantrum was the whole flat on the back scene, where arms and legs are flailing up and down to provide a dirty blue mat a well-deserved beating. The only thing I could do was roll my eyes and say, “I have two teenage daughters, I’m not going to deal with this shit at work, Gwennie (referencing the biggest celebrity twat I could think of, Gweneth Paltrow)”. The Gwennie thing was totally lost on him. Yep, this designer is male. Don’t mistake that for a dude, guy or even a man… he is none of these. He is a petulant, juvenile, twat.

Of course there is going to have to be some managerial intervention here, but as far as I’m concerned this is not the first tantrum, eye-roll sigh-fest I have had to endure with this waste of space, but it will be the last. The thing about being a female “Dude” is that you play well, and work well with others, so people like you for the most part. This means when it comes down to a he said, she said or your versus me situation, the dude wins. I will prevail!

For now, all I have to say is, “Gwennie, eat a bag of dicks. This whole department thinks you suck more than Ray Rice volunteering at a women’s shelter.”